Sunday, April 10, 2011
Please Keep From Getting Saliva on the Cake When You Blow out the Candles, Good Chap.
For the record, I hate birthdays... In fact, I downright detest them... Or loathe them. As one might notice, I do enjoy synonyms and could continue creating short or curt sentences about animosity towards days of birth well into the evening. The reasoning for this position is the adage, "one year older and a year closer to death." Yes, I am a hoot and can be hired for your child's birthday party as entertainment for a nominal fee. I must qualify, my routine will go "blue" quite quickly.
Thankfully, today is not my birthday (sadly, that loathsome and vile day is fast approaching) but rather the one year mark of this publication* since its inception. It is no longer an infant (even though its humor and editorial stance remains stuck in that stage) but it is now a "big" boy or by the looks of the picture, girl. I suppose it has gender confusion and thus, I am the worst parent because I won't settle the matter. At the very least, I do not have to feed formula or jars of baby food to the little tyke any longer. You eat table food now, boy!
All in all, it is surprising that I have kept up with posting to this thing over the course of the past year. I figured that I would simply lose interest by week two and let the damn thing pass slowly into the night. Perhaps, I am truly a glutton for punishment or I really have nothing to do in between coursework and family obligations (fear not, my actual children do not have gender confusion). With that said, enjoy a virtual slice of cake, I am gonna fire up the karaoke machine, so lets get hammered! Who is ready for my rendition of the Macarena? Anyone? Your loss.
Seriously, though I hope the four people that I force at spork point to read this have enjoyed the past year.
One proud "Papa,"
(*The use of publication is not a matter of ego or thinking this is bigger than it is... Let's face it, I can count the number of people who read this on the fingers of me left hand. I just do not like the term: weblog or its abbreviation, blog)