Monday, August 29, 2011

Move Over, Retail Cashier... I Know of a Job That is Worse.

We have all had jobs that we hate. I know I have had my share... If there was ever a job that I was not suited for, it would be a retail cashier. Low pay, churlish customers, no thanks (Not even giving me free merchandise will change this opinion). In retrospect, I think I have found a job that is as horrible as retail cashier or any other for that matter... Number II at Al Qaida. Before you start throwing tomatoes and garbage at me in the streets. I am merely pointing out the fact that the second in command is getting routinely killed (Not that I am complaining about this fact).

For those interested, earlier this week, Atiyah Abd al-Rahman was killed (allegedly by a predator drone) in the tribal area in Pakistan known as Waziristan. Wait, you do not know who al-Rahman is? He is the guy who was promoted to Al-Qaida's number two position after Osama Bin Laden was killed by American forces in May. I guess things were truly business as usual after the death of Bin Laden, I hate to say it but "called it." Anyway, I guess these guys have it coming considering the line of work they are in and shan't get any sympathy from me. Overall, I wasted little thought about al-Rahman's death but it had me about the classified ad put out to fill the position (You know they look for external candidates... So, Bob what do you think you can bring to Al Qaida after your time with IBM?) I think it looks a little something like this:

With their current life expectancy, I will have an opportunity to write multiple versions of that classified ad. Like I mentioned earlier, people who engage in killing innocent civilians kind of have this type of end coming. I cannot for the life of me understand why someone would want to do such things. I wonder when al-Rahman was offered the job if he went out to celebrate... You know, gathered those closest to him and made a beeline to the local Applebees. After all, they have some wicked Potato skins. They have rural locations in Pakistan, right? Funny thing is, he probably did not have time to reevaluate his life and realize that he should have followed his father's desire for him to open up a upscale pet clothing boutique in Islamabad.

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