Wednesday, December 28, 2011

In Descending Order: The Worst Films of 2011 numbers 4 to 1

Continuing on our discussion from earlier... The worst films of 2011 (Numbers 4-1):

4. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Where did we leave off when we last spoke? Ah yes, Dark of the Moon. Bad writing, no character development and the worst acting this side of a soap opera. What else can there be said about this film? I do not know... How about Michael Bay reaching into his bag of tricks and using the same shots and some of the same "action sequences" from previous films. Yes, there is same Pearl Harbor/ Bad Boys/ Transformers I/ Transformer II, "the shit just got real" shots but in this film he used the same sequence from The Island... Oddly enough, the latter was much better in that film and for the record that film is not good as well.

3. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I
Does a film constitute a saga if nothing (and I mean nothing) happens that is remotely interesting. Shirtless guy and dim mouth breather battle over a woman, who has the distinction of being the ugliest girl in town. Good job guys. Alright, I confess that something interesting does happen in this film and it is not the least bit horrifying. The shirtless werewolf falls in love with a baby... Yes, a baby! No, I do not understand it. A baby? Seriously? How does that even work? To top it off, the leader of team mouth breather (who is also the father) condones it. I do not know about you but I would not want some creepy guy to be in love with my newborn child.

2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon
How bad is this film? Well, it is worse than Revenge of the Fallen and that is saying something. Quite frankly, it seems that everyone (and I mean everyone) associated with this production just decided to half ass their roles. The argument will be made that Michael Bay wanted to put it out a year later and that production was rushed but I do not buy it. Kruger had enough time to put together a relatively decent script and build around it. This film let one lasting impression and it is the notion that I am done with this franchise. Mark my words! This lifelong fan of Transformers as an intellectual property is done with these films.

1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part I
As you might have deduced, I am not a fan of this franchise either in book or film form. Thank you, Harry Potter. If it was not for you, we would not have to suffer through another horrible Twilight film. Say what you will, the series has won a popular distinction two years in a row. It is the worst film of the year. Good job. If the preceding films are any indication, in all likelihood, there will be a three-peat. Hopefully next time, I can avoid this film when it appears in theaters as I sat next to a bald fifty year old man, who came to the movie by himself. People like that cannot be trusted.

See you next year.

Honorable Mentions:
Sucker Punch, I am Number Four, In Time

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